What I Learned from Henry

I recently purchased a 2004 small SUV. Everything but the miles per gallon has been wonderful. However, there is one thing that really annoys me about Henry---that’s how I named my car since I don’t want to give any free advertising for the auto maker.

Henry is obsessed with my safety.

I’ve always been notoriously slack about wearing my seatbelts. And my previous car was a sports car, which didn’t seem to have a problem with me going strapless. Henry, on the other hand, has a beeping device that goes off almost immediately if I drive without wearing my seatbelts for less than a second. It’s not so much the noise itself, but the frequency and length of that “TINTINTINTINTINTIN” sound that really gets under my skin. When I start hearing that sound, I try to ignore like a bad rash hoping it's going to go away.

It never does, unless I obey.

Henry’s manufacturer obviously put a lot of thought into that safety device because it really works. I find myself buckling up even in my sleep to avoid hearing that alarming sound. Every now and then, I rebel against the evil sounding device and muster enough courage to drive unbuckled to the grocery store around the corner. Two blocks at 45 MPH; that’s about 3 or 4 sets of “TINTINTINS” in two and half minutes. If I ever get pulled-over on the way to the store, I’m sure I’ll get a ticket for not clicking it AND speeding.

Henry taught me that if we ask somebody with relentless perseverance to do something we want them to do, or more importantly, they need to do for us; they’ll do it. I made up my mind to ask my boss for a raise. If he says “no,” I’m going to start chiming TIN-TINS uncontrollably to let him know I’m serious. If I don’t get fired, it will surely put more money in my wallet.

Not only is the Henry technique good for getting people to do what you want, but it can also get you out of doing something you don’t want to do. Let’s call it the Henry escape clause. If my wife asks me to change my daughter’s poopy diaper, I use it. If she tells me to keep the toilet seat down, I let her have it. Next time your significant other makes an unwanted request, just play the TIN-TINS. And just say, “Oh, it’s just a little inside joke between me and Columbus. You know, my SUV.”